Punishment and Discipline

CONTENT NOTE : This post discusses punishment and discipline between adults and children. 

What comes to mind for you as a Pacific person when we say the words Punishment and Discipline? Is it holding your tears back as you are sanctioned for breathing the wrong way? Is it running from your parents or caregiver as they chase you with a sasa or household item? Is it spending hours doing all the jobs that your other siblings don't have to because they aren't in trouble? Or is it time out in the corner with no physical discipline? Whatever the image is in your head we all know that punishment and discipline across the Pacific can mean a whole lot of different things to a whole lot of people. 

The notions of punishment and discipline across the Pacific have changed over time. Research has shown that across many Pacific nations the idea of punishment and discipline was a communal one. That when one had done something wrong they had wronged the community rather than just an individual. This meant that the punishment for this person was a communal one and one in which they were to return mana or aroha to the community in some way shape or form. There is lots of information and research out in the big wide world that shows the impact of colonisation and christianity on our Pacific peoples and one of these impacts was the way in which we view punishment and discipline. 

What was once a very communal event or process became an individual one and this meant the way in which we saw how we, as individuals, fit into the community also changed. The movement of colonial powers across and into the Pacific meant that these powers brought with them their ways of life. A hybrid type of new Pacific culture has grown from the various colonial powers who took control of our oceans and lands in varying capacity. This meant that over time to varying degrees what is acceptable in social situations and across society has changed. Some may say that this is a good thing and others may say it is a bad thing, however one thing is for sure, change happened and with that change came a very different version of punishment. 

This new version included physical punishment and also ostracism and segregation (note: that it is believed that ostracism was present in Pacific cultures pre contact but for reasons that were not tied to behaviour management/change). The use of these forms of punishment and discipline were to create a change in behaviour in people and also to discourage others to repeat similar behaviour. We see this represented today in the current ‘JuStiCe’ systems and the way in which the policing of people is used to ensure that we all behave a certain way and follow rules created by those in power within society. The ongoing systems of punishment and discipline mean that we are forced to conform to societal norms whether we agree with them or not because if we don't the repercussions can be life changing and hugely oppressive. 

Physical punishment and ‘hidings’ as we know them today were introduced into the Pacific. We did not beat our children pre contact. There is no evidence in any of the missionary writings or our own ancient Pacific herstories that Pacific children were ever beaten into submission. This came with the teachings of the european christian god and the way they were interpreted. This is not to say the teachings of the bible specifically say beat your kids if they are naughty otherwise we are all going to hell. But the way in which missionaries and the like have interpreted the ‘teachings’ from the bible has meant that that very message has been the one that generations of Pacific people before us have been indoctrinated with. This may be a hard thought to many. It's never easy addressing our bias and what has informed our thinking, but this is the truth. Over many generations our people have been told that adults must hold power over children, that adults know best, that when children speak out or have ideas or act like they know things … that we as adults know better and should shut them down because they are children. 

But what has this done for us, how has this behaviour or learning benefitted us as Pacific peoples? What does physical punishment and discipline really do that is good for us? Does it teach our children kindness? Does it teach our children that whatever they are feeling, that it is ok to express it in emotionally vulnerable ways? Does it teach our children that violence is actually very unsafe and not ok? Does it teach our children love?

What does beating our kids for not listening or answering back or having an opinion actually do? 

It places the adult in a position of power and yes sure the child will listen to you in the moment because it hurts being beaten but what happens after the hiding ends … do you think the child respects you anymore … does the child feel love … does the child understand why someone who is meant to love and protect them chooses to hurt them … does the child learn that violence is not a way to show love … does the child learn that their decision making related to their behaviour is not ok or do they learn that it's just this behaviour the adult doesnt like and nothing to do with decision making processes …

In today’s society we see Pacific parents of the younger generations beginning to use forms of discipline that dont include physical repercussions. This seems outrageous to some and we hear a lot of comments like “kids these days need a good hiding” or “in our day we didnt have mental health issues because we got hidings and learnt” … but the reality of the situation is that our people have deep internalised issues with discipline and punishment and we can see it all if we step back and view our communities. There are so many red flags and have been for quite some time however, there are also so many beautiful examples of our Pacific people growing and learning and creating our own new forms of discipline through love. It truly is beautiful to watch and we have come such a long way and have quite the journey ahead of us.

There are so many questions that should be posed within oneself as an adult disciplining a child. The first one should alway be … WHERE DID I AS AN ADULT LEARN THAT IT WAS OK TO PHYSICALLY DISCIPLINE A CHILD TO TEACH THEM A LESSON AND IS THIS REALLY THE BEST WAY TO DO THIS? 

Shared with Love and Radical Hope*

Tabu Tok

*Radical hope is a term borrowed from the magnificent Dr Emalani Case. It is something we at Tabu Tok aim to carry in our everyday lives. Vinaka vakalevu Dr Case for your tireless mahi and activism for Indigenous people.