Sex

Bula Vinaka and welcome to Tabu Tok - Volavola (Writing), here you will be able to find a piece of writing that corresponds to the episode of the week. Our first piece discusses Sex.

So what is Sex?

Sex : (n) Sexual relations or activity, especially sexual intercourse.

The topic of sex and sexual intercourse in our Pacific communities is one that is more often than not very awkward and avoided at all costs. So why are we like this? Why do we seem to be ok with just skirting around the outside of these topics and not addressing them head on!  A large part of the Pacific (basically all) were converted to Christianity in many different forms by missionaries sent from across Europe. The Pacific was introduced to various churches and religions including (but not limited to) catholicism, weslyan methodist, assemblies of god, mormonism, seventh day adventist, pentecostal, hinduism, muslim faith and so on. This conversion, some by choice and others by force meant that the way we saw our bodies, the act of sex, sexuality and gender across the Pacific was forever changed. 

There are many different reasons this occurred but for the most part it is widely accepted that because of the new belief in the european version of the christian god and that god’s commandments or laws (see also; the bible) that people across the Pacific began to see things as good or bad and light or dark. Before the missionaries arrived became the time of the darkness and after they arrived became the time of light or enlightenment. Thus anything that was believed or in action before missionaries came then by default was seen as dark or bad. 

This had an ongoing effect across all Pacific Indigenous belief systems. The beginnings of intergenerational erasure of indigenous knowledge. With the missionary generation becoming adults and having their own children the depth of belief in the european christian god grew and so did the erasure of anything that was deemed bad or evil. The european christian god and his teachings came with a lot of either or, a lot of black and white. This meant that there was only one way to be considered ‘a good christian’ and that was through following the teachings as they were being decoded by the missionaries themselves. By doing this missionaries were using christianity as a tool of colonisation. Whether they believed that to be true or not we now know that it is a fact. Religion was used within Pacific communities to oppress people into following rules that were imposed by outsiders, essentially colonising the communities themselves. 

Tied into this was the way in which we viewed genders and bodies. Womens bodies in particular became a focus for the male gaze. Womens bodies were no longer in the possession of just women, rather they became subject to ownership by men via european christianity and its teachings. This meant that womens bodies became the property of the male gaze. As such they were made to ‘cover up’ and became seen as a vessel to ensure reproduction for men. Pre missionary contact we know (thanks to years of indigenous knowledge being passed through generations under cover in song and dance and stori) that womens bodies were not solely the property of men and that women were revered for their proximity to the many atua that existed in Pacific creation. We now know that gender was fluid and the idea of ‘womanhood’ was not always tied to reproduction. That the way we view ‘womanhood’ today across the Pacific and beyond has strong ties to european christian teachings. We know that our ancestors were sexual beings and not just to reproduce but because of pleasure. We are now able to decode song and dance to see that pleasure was a huge part of who we were as Pacific people. 

It is so important to keep the talanoa about Sex happening within our own families, even if it is just to critically unpack our own beliefs around sex and how we have come to form these beliefs. When we do that we give permission for the younger generations coming through to explore their beliefs and the world around them safely. If we open the talanoa for our babies in ways that we deem appropriate it brings them closer to us and gives space for growth together. Sex may be something that seems so awkward and uncomfortable to even fathom talking out loud about but as we have seen via Tabu Tok once we start its actually really freeing and lets others know that it is possible for us to hold space for uncomfortable conversations. 

Shared with Love and Radical Hope*

Tabu Tok

*Radical hope is a term borrowed from the magnificent Dr Emalani Case. It is something we at Tabu Tok aim to carry in our everyday lives. Vinaka vakalevu Dr Case for your tireless mahi and activism for Indigenous people.